i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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