I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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