I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i think i just lost a toe
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
