there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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