he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
