Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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