batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize