he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
