at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
