i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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