I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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