dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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