just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
