How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize