Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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