How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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