I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
my nose is crying tears of wow.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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