this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
