I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
