I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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