I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
