Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
