Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
