some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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