Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
