I wish my penis had an off switch
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
