When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
