Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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