whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
