the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
