how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
