operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
