Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
