she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't deserve a penis
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
