my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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