The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
