He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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