I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
