I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
