Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
