This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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