So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
