so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
