Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
