Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
