Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
