he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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