Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
