Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
