hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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