i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
