You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
