so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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