Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
