we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she looked like the before picture.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
