Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
