bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
