; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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