the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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