Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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