people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Too much gin, very little bucket
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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