i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize