going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
How's work?
Spinning.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
