Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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