just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
