At least make sure they are 18
Why
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
