if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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