so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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